K Falls and back...

January 20, 2011

The question for today is “What wuz I doing?”  It’s been weeks since I’ve posted.  So why the delay… and does anybody really care? J

I delayed because on one hand my writings seem to have a presumptive quality… or at least I was concerned that they did.  So does it really matter?  Depends on why I’m writing or who I’m writing for.  A good friend says I should only be writing for myself.  If others choose to read what I write… that’s their choice… and so is their response.

I will confess that in fact I want to write to get these ideas and thoughts down.  I want to say something and I want to share it… I’m not likely to walk up to someone and say to them… do you want to hear my perceptions about life?  I would generally hope they would say no.  However should my children (or good friends… which begs the question are there such things as bad friends?) ever run across these writings they would know the wheels did turn on occasion and my thoughts weren’t totally absorbed by databases and dancing. J

Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest… I must say that this trip to Klamath Falls was most unusual.  I travelled there yesterday afternoon and returned today.  So I stayed the night at a neat little downtown motel, the Maverick Motel… owned by an immigrant family (I’m guessing Indian).  They actually leave a basket of water and somewhat healthy snacks in the room… not for you to purchase, rather as a thank you for staying there.  Considering their room is around $20 cheaper than comparable rooms, I’m amazed.  Anyway so I asked them for their password and user code to log on to their internet…  It was “Jesus Christ”.  I was amazed and delighted at their boldness in proclaiming their faith!

So last night I watched another “Food Revolution” episode.  This season is in LA.  Wow, I was simply amazed at how much controversy and conflict simply trying to promote a healthier school lunch menu can generate.  Of course I had to watch the results for DWTS.

I was in K Falls to work with a new client (agency).  Getting up this morning, I really lacked any enthusiasm or motivation.  Fortunately the Daily Reading for Unity was perfect for today and did shift my frame of mind.  Then when I got there… the enthusiastic response was almost enough to bring on tears.  They really really see the value of my efforts to create a Billing – Scheduling – Treatment database for Addiction Treatment and Mental Health agencies.  In fact one of them is offering to help me promote it to other agencies.  Wow!

The drive up yesterday was sunny and bright… I had to stop to take pictures with my smart phone… the scenery was just too breathtaking.  Today the drive home was cloudy and drizzly but my mood was great!

Oh another slightly odd thing.  A couple years ago when I drove to Salem I would always see a sign at exit 243 that said “Trust Jesus”.  I don’t consider myself a religious nut (I will admit that as a kid I probably was one… blasting country gospel records from my second story window into the street.  I would set my mom’s 45 rpm record player in the window sill and play hymns by Jim Reeves, Tennessee Ernie Ford and others… just hoping that the songs would touch the passer-by.).  After several months the sign disappeared.  I wondered what happened to it.  Well a few months later as I was driving past Woodburn on I-5 I happened to notice the sign again.   Well today I saw it as I was leaving K Falls.  Yes, there are all sorts of logical… rational explanations.  But I prefer the mystery of it all.

Now what was really great (as if that wasn’t exciting enough) I listened to a RadioLab program on Symmetry.   It was absolutely fascinating!  It consisted of three segments.  One is on what happens when you find someone you really “click” with.  Another is on reflections… the affects of changing how you part your hair and the fact that all protein turns to the left! The last one was on the theory (I almost said fact… but it’s only a theory that it’s a fact)… that matter is the result of light that has been super pumped with energy.  As matter is created so is anti-matter.  Now if the balance between matter and anti-matter was 100% even (perfect) there would be no matter because matter and anti-matter are attracted to each other but the meeting of the two dissolves back into light… so then there would be no matter.  But, because 1 times out of a billion there is no match for matter…. Matter continues to exist which is why we and the universe exist.  In the beginning there was light… Now it all makes a bit more sense (or not).

So when I got home, I immediately went in and parted my hair on the other side.  I asked Alene to tell me what was different… but she’s not quite sure (but she was close)… I’ll do this for a few more days / weeks to see if I really to look less geeky… more handsome.

That’s it for today!

The Word of God

The Word of God

Capturing the word of God is like trying to capture rain… its very abundance makes it all the more precious.  It nourishes all of life. 

How lightly humorous it is to realize that each of humanity’s spiritual teachings started out through the expression of one person’s life.  There were no people wandering around capturing each thought and word of the teacher.  No dictation. It was only decades later that people sought to capture the experience, the history, and the teachings of great teachers.  The writings were captured by many and each was meant to stand on its own.  As institutions were created to help spread the teachings, the writings were brought together and bound as one book.  Too think that until the invention of the printing press the ownership of the bible was a rarity… yet Christianity flourished.

Truly the word of God, the understanding of God, the experience of God is written into the heart and being of each of earth’s creatures. Just as plants were not meant to be dependent of the irrigation systems of mankind, rather on the rainfall of each geographic region… so is the love and understanding of God spread in the same way.  God’s love rains on our life.  It is up to each of us to close our umbrellas of disbelief and open ourselves to God’s healing and nourishing love. 

Just as animals are not dependent on each other to be fed… so we must realize that we may also receive our spiritual nourishment from God.  The saying that “God rains on the just and unjust alike” is so very revealing. 

So does this mean that ministers and priests are of no real use?  No. They’re primary purpose, like doctors is help us in our healing when we are spiritually broken or hurting.  Like good physicians, they can remind us of the way to live more healthily and in harmony with nature.  We too often forget to listen to the inner voice.  We give up our discernment choosing instead the illusion of duality. Fear of loss and fear of lack cause us to draw away from one another.

Should our appreciation of the holy books lessen?  No. See them as a history of humanity’s spiritual journey… as an encyclopedia of wisdom and guidance in how to live in harmony.  Just as there is eastern medicine and western medicine, preventative medicine and curative medicine, so is there much to be learned from each set of spiritual teachings. Too often teachers teach divisiveness, claiming their understanding it the right understanding. Rather than desiring to help direct the spiritual journey of their society, they desire to control the spiritual journey. 

Are churches and temples for naught?  No. For here people can gather in one accord and to seek a relationship with God as a people.  Just as similar trees grow together in forests, birds and butterflies of the same species fly together as they migrate, whales swim together and ants and bees each work together so are we called to work together.

So as you read the word of God, be open to the word of God written on your heart.

Grand Piano of the Heart

Dear gentle one,

Your heart is like a grand piano… silently waiting the touch of one to bring forth life’s music.  It’s not the gentle sonata that you long for… no matter how serene and flowing.  The music you desire to hear and feel is to be full of passion… complex… compelling… full of longing and tension… full of joy and regret… music to awaken your senses… music to unlock the hidden sorrows and un-tempered joys.  How you long to dance, to experience the closeness of another.  To bathe in the music that will once again make you feel alive.

The desires that you discover within are often planted there with angelic whispers…  planted to encourage to stretch beyond your safe haven of daily routine… to encourage opening up all colors of life’s hues.  Life truly is to be experienced.

Speak to that soul… that you would normally hesitate to.  Partake in the little opportunities of volunteering or fun classes.  Share simple experiences with a close friend whether it is shopping, pampering at a spa, a night in the big city to enjoy a play, ballet or opera.

Just as plants (and children) need nurturing… so does your soul.  Stepping out will remove the blocks that keep life’s music muted.  As you nurture so allow others to nurture you… for just as find joy in nurturing so do they.

Set aside those tasks and responsibilities that safely surround you and keep you in.  Make time for yourself… and others.  Life is cyclical.  Ecclesiastes 3:2.  As you open yourself to the rhythms of life, you find them being played out on the keyboard of your soul.

Ministers and Musicians

How similar are the professions of musicianship and ministry.

A musician may be scholarly and steeped in musical theory and history.  They may play only the finest classical pieces.  Or they may be self taught and play the most ragged of blues.  They may play kids songs… or music to make you dance… or the saddest country-western songs.  

Each tends to be in love with their genre.  The classical may look down on the blues.  The jazz musician may consider the classical to be too rigid.  Then if you go to other cultures you will find that their approach to music and its structure is quite different.  Their scales may be different… even the steps between notes will be different.  The traditions and even the instruments are different.

So it is with ministers (pastors, priests, deacons, etc.)  Each believes that their approach and belief system is the most correct. 

It all seems so odd… for in reality one does not need someone to lead them to God or to explain God.  God expresses through all of humanity… there is no life without God.

A street musician that plays and sings from their heart and soul can produce as beautiful music as the classical trained pianist. 

Thankfully there is more than one expression of music… and thankfully there are many expressions (and understandings) of God.  For humans to truly understand God is similar to dogs trying to understand humans.  We do not have the capacity to fully understand and appreciate the totality of God.

The sacred scriptures (of which there are multiple) were written for human-kind in the same manner that we would write a book about life and all of its complexities for a first-grader.  Just as a first-grader would be lost in reading a college thesis, so would we be lost if we were to try to comprehend the deeper complexities of God and life.

God will just as joyfully and lovingly and tenderly speak to you as God will to the minister down the street. 

Does this mean that church is for not?  No, for wherever two or more are gathered in “his name” (In Aramaic the phrase “in his name” meant “in the likeness of” or “in the same manner” or “as they would do it”).  We have reinterpreted it to mean that we must invoke the name.  When we refer to someone as a good egg… we don’t literally mean they are an egg!).  We are called to become community… to care for one another… to study and follow the sacred teachings.  These teachings provide both structure and guidance.  We can also find a purpose and meaning in life.  Once found though we must simply live it… rather than try to convince those who have a different understanding that they are wrong. 

It is good to learn from others… but remember they at best can only point the way… in spite of their statements to the contrary they are not “the way”.  As any wise woman will do with a man… take them with a grain of salt.

The book, “The Shack” is good because it provides a way of looking at life (God) differently.  Just like listening to a good blues song is good for one who listens only to sonatas, and etudes.

You are a seeker of truth and you will find (are finding) that truth within.

May the peace and the light of Christ be with you always in all ways.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

As musicians find many temptations so it is with ministers.  No matter their ability or dedication to their passions… both can find their selves tempted.  The more proficient they become… the more they attract followers.  Many can be the challenges.  Followers can be attracted either sexually or emotionally… both attractions are equally challenging.  Followers can also isolate them with so that they no longer face the challenges of introspection.  They become settled and comfortable with their level of knowledge and skill.  Humility (a most valuable trait) is lost… and along with it the desire to question their own understandings.

Yet on another level this is good… for they truly do face some of life’s greatest challenges and have the ability to learn some of life’s greatest lessons.  And one often learns best from their own weakness.

Grief

Thanks for today’s letter.  Ah, yes… I had forgotten about the on-line prayer line.  Believe me there have been many times in the past where I was beside myself with sadness and worry.  I used to call them and a live person would answer and pray with me.  Talk about powerful!!!!  They may still do that, but now I submit my requests on line (how geeky).  They usually follow up with a nice little tract that has a wonderful message in it. 

My prayer requests do seem to be answered, usually not in the time frame or the manner that I wish…  The best part is that after submitting the request, I always feel that my burden is lightened.  I feel as if I can go through the day with the confidence that good will happen.

Usually I don’t turn on my computer or check my email until after shower… walking the dogs… and breakfast.  This morning I turned the computer on early and saw your letter.  Hearing from you means a lot.  As I was showering I was thinking about grief and an image of a gong came to mind.  I’ll now share the thoughts that popped up.

Grief is expression of loss… loss of a part of one’s own self. We tend to forget that who we are does not stop at the outer edges of our body, no more than a car is just an engine.  We are made up of friends and family… of experiences and rituals and daily habits… of the music we listen to of what we choose to watch… and most importantly of those we love and who love us. We are even made up of the dreams that we hold deep in our hearts.  Loss of any part can bring on grief.  It can be brief and fleeting or deep, profound and with us for the rest of our lives.

Grief is like the sound of a gong.  It shatters the peacefulness. It vibrates long and loud.  Its vibration can set in to motion a similar vibration in that which is near.  Our grief reverberates and brings forth the feeling of grief in others.  The sound of joy is the sound of bells; grief is truly the sound of a gong.

I would encourage that in each church, temple or synagogue, wherever there is a room set aside for prayer and contemplation, that either the same room or another contains a gong.  Let those who are grieving go there and strike the gong as hard and as long as they need to express the depth and strength of their grief.  They should return daily or weekly to again strike the gong.  Those who hear the gong can either console or offer prayers for the loss.

Those who hear the gong’s mournful ringing can truly sense the intensity of the grief… but only the person striking the gong knows the intensity of the pain behind the grief.

Grief truly needs to be expressed… grief is real.  Just as there is light and darkness, light melodies, and dark mournful blues, there is grief as well as joy.

Just as we can carry physical scars for life, so we may carry grief for life.  Just as physical scars indicate a healing (as opposed an open wound), so does grief leave emotional scars.

Know that as we grieve there are angels grieving as well.  One might think that because of their wisdom and understanding that angels would grieve less.  It is because of their wisdom and understanding that they grieve more.  There are angels grieving over the battlegrounds of war, over genocide, over leadership that is driven by power and greed, rather than society’s benefit.  They grieve over each life cut short and the anguish that fills the air.

From a friend who lost one who was so close to her.  I think she said in one sentence what it took me two pages to say J :

·         Death leaves a heartache that no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal... missing my grandmother.....

Transmutation

Realize that the problems and challenges that you may encounter in life are not you, but rather they are but obstacles on your journey.  Each journey is unique just as each soul is a unique expression of God.

There has been much written about these challenges and much discussion as to whether they are a result of karma or a challenge given to you by your creator or simply the role of the dice.

As a river flows downstream it encounters many obstacles, some may man-made such as dams or pollution or land laid waste.  Other obstacles may simply be part of nature… a cliff, a forest, a boulder or even a fire.  The river simply flows (as it is in its very nature to do so)… not judging as to why the obstacles are there.  The river is one with all of nature.  The river is a source of life, of goodness.

If you chose to explore a newly discovered land, you too would face many challenges.  Yet, you would not wonder if those challenges were a result of karma or placed there by some great deity.  You would simply see it as part of your journey.  So as you have chosen various pathways you have ended up with various experiences.  It is just as likely that if you had chosen a different pathway you may have had a shorter journey or you might not have met those who bring so much joy into your life.

Each soul’s journey is filled with challenges.  The challenges may appear great or appear to be miniscule.  Sometimes you face challenges that on some level may be considered unjust… humanity in its lack of kinship with nature has wrought many a problem and disease.  This is humanity’s lesson to learn and choose to either resolve or not.

Do not identify with your challenges; instead know that all challenges are in reality only temporary… even if they are there to the end of your journey.  For at journey’s end they are no longer with you as you return to your oneness with God or as some choose to say you enter heaven’s gates. 

So is despair or resignation your only choice when faced with horrific challenges?  I would encourage you instead to take a two-fold approach.  First through the practices of prayer and meditation… the “ying and yang” of your spiritual be-ing-ness, let go and let God. Through prayer let your deepest desires, concerns, fears and joys flow outward.  Empty your heart. 

Then through meditation, attune to your spirit-self, to your God-self, to the source of all life. Allow God’s graces to flow through you. As you meditate you will find that your awareness of be-ing-ness is changing.  You will find that you are experiencing your one-ness with all of life-source.  This is the experience of transmutation of changing from one state to another.

Know that as you experience this changing; these transmutations from a human awareness to a spiritual awareness… the challenges in your life are being transmuted as well.  You will find spiritual wisdom, peace and joy coming from these experiences.  You may ask, “How can this be?”  Think of what happens when coal is burned.  A handful of coal by itself may bring little delight.  However, when you burn it, it is being transmuted.  The coal becomes both light and warmth.

Lastly, do not allow these challenges to keep you from your heart’s desires.  Just as a river does not allow a boulder or even a dam to keep it from flowing to the sea, do not allow them to keep you from that which you desire. Seek and you shall find… knock and it will be opened.

Peace is with you and in you. You bring joy to many.

Being Who You Are...

Wow, now that I’ve written the title, I think “How heady”!

So one might wonder (or hopefully not) how was he raised?  What was his faith?  Why does he sound so new agey?

For the sake of credentialing I will admit to being baptized, “Pentecostal (A. of G. for inquiring minds), Mormon, and Catholic.   I also went to a variety of other churches along the way.  Eventually I found my way to a new age church (one that in many ways seemed to be rather Pentecostal in its expression). Again for inquiring minds “The Church of Tzaddi”.  If you go down the road of “New Thought” spirituality; Unity, then a little farther to Science of the Mind, then take a left… you will wind this church.

Why all of this exploring?  It was my way of rebelling. Now some background:

 My mom didn’t go to church (she finally did in her later years).  She had been raised in a household that spent much time at the Angelus Temple in Los Angeles. The founding minister, Aimee Sample McPherson, founded the Foursquare Church.  A rather interesting read for inquiring minds.  This was during the 1930’s when there was very little government help so the Temple became a key player in helping to feed and clothe the poor of L.A.  My mom was the last of a batch of children who were taken by disease and then by default became the oldest of the next batch.  But, I am digressing… my apologies.  The point is that she was raised in such a strict fundamentalist household that she rebelled by not going to church. 

My dad was a circuit riding preacher’s son.  Mom and dad divorced about the time I was born. You will see a picture on the blog of me (I on the left with brothers Dick, Jerry and half-brother Rex).

By default, I had no choice but to rebel by going to church.  Yes there were other factors as well… my grandmother went to the same A. of G. church… and I will confess that the minister and his wife had three beautiful daughters, one my age! 

When I first started writing today’s reflection… I had no intention to bore you with all of that detail.  But then, it will help alleviate the notion that I came to my spiritual way of thinking simply because I was “destined” or “called”.

So what is the message that I want to share?  It is simply this… whatever spiritual path you are on is the right one for you.  Even for those who claim to be agnostic or atheistic in your outlook… that’s fine.  Whatever you believe or choose not to believe does not change reality.  Just like the belief that the world was flat… or that the sun revolved around the earth did not change what was… so my belief or lack thereof about God will not change what is.  One of the great gifts we have as humans is the ability to choose.  It is up to us to exercise this gift… and as with all decisions; there are different experiences… which lead to more decisions… and onward!

I for one revel in the variety of beliefs and perceptions.  How boring would the world be if all flowers were pink roses, or all trees were evergreens?  Alene reminded me yesterday that the reason we don’t use the same greens (such as spinach) in our green smoothies every day is that each type of green, while beneficial, also contains a tiny bit of toxin, used to ward off insects.  Too much of one type of toxin can be detrimental to our own health. 

If we had only one color to paint a picture… it may prove to be rather boring after a while. It is the mixture, the touching, the layering of colors that makes a picture.  It takes many different colors of thread to make a tapestry. Many notes make a song.

If I have any suggestion on your journey (for in essence that is what I see life as) approach it passionately.

I suspect that you will find the above theme in some of the other reflections I will share in the future.  But to me, it was so important… I wanted to include it in the intro.

For those of you who fear I have wandered to far from my roots... I can live with that.  I figure that "God" is wiser and more compassionate than I am... so I'm willing to leave my destiny up to God.

You are infused with and are an expression of God’s love,

G

My First Blog... an intro!

Most of what I share… will be thoughts gleaned from time spent listening to the still small voice within.  Right away, you might envision me as sitting in a yoga pose, incense burning, and a CD of flute and harp music playing peacefully in the background. 

 Please keep that picture in your head.  It would be cool to have people think of me that way! However, for the most part it is not at times like this that I hear the still small voice.  Sorry, if I have burst your bubble. Well, maybe not so sorry… I just thought it would be the polite thing to say.

What is the still small voice and when do I hear it?  First I would say it is more like a flow of conscious thought (as opposed to unconscious?).  You may have noticed I didn’t use the phrase “uninterrupted conscious thought”.  That is because I don’t experience the “peace and quiet” (and some boredom) of a single life with hours of uninterrupted quiet time.  Nor do I spend hours each day immersing myself in deep spiritual / philosophical reading and thought.  I will admit admiring those who can and do but I experience no such luxury. 

Okay, so if you are looking for your next guru or teacher, sorry (this time I mean it… at least a bit more).  However if you want to read about someone who takes frequent dips into spiritual thought and actually remembers to write some of it down… then I’m your person.  I’m hoping that you will come away saying if he can do it then obviously I can too!

Sometimes my thoughts will resonate with you… and at other times not so much.  These are the times when you need to go and listen to your own “still small voice”.  When you do, please write them down… this increases the clarity, and share them with at least one other.  That way at your memorial service there will be at least one person who will stand up and share that you were a deep thinker.  Hey, I’m willing to get my compliments any way I can!  Plus if I need some sort of a resume to get into the pearly gates, these testimonies will make nice backup material.

So what is the source of this conscious flow of thoughts, well it could be channeling (for me it would have to be the English Channel), it could be tapping into the ocean of universal wisdom, it could be listening to your spiritual guides, it could be listening to your higher self.  In the end, the source doesn’t matter so much.  Just as when you need a glass of water… you need a glass of water… you don’t care so much where it came from as long as it is clean, clear and refreshing.  If it isn’t, it won’t take long for you to figure it out… nor will it be very satisfying.

Now I will become a bit more serious for the moment because the next few thoughts that follow seem to be important to me.

1)    You will probably be surprised at the thoughts that come to you.  You may start you writing thinking that you already know what you are going to put onto paper (or into the document). As you write you may find new thoughts making their way in.  Or you will think of things you want to share and are looking for the right words.  They will be there.

2)   It is important to write.  Writing is like taking a picture.  It helps you focus, plus when you go back and re-read it you will discover new insights, just like looking at a picture again you will see new details.  If you write it down, the thoughts won’t fade.

3)   If what I write doesn’t fit for you… that’s fine.  In fact that may be the inspiration for you to write your own thoughts.  They will be more meaningful to you than mine could ever be.

I have been lucky enough to have saved a few writings over the years.  I will share them.  And I will see where this blogging experience takes me.  You are part of my journey so don’t hesitate to share your thoughts.

I would like to leave you with a special prayer from Unity:

The prayer of protection

The light of God surrounds me

The love of God enfolds me

The power of God protects me

The presence of God watches over me

Where ever I am… God is