Grief

Thanks for today’s letter.  Ah, yes… I had forgotten about the on-line prayer line.  Believe me there have been many times in the past where I was beside myself with sadness and worry.  I used to call them and a live person would answer and pray with me.  Talk about powerful!!!!  They may still do that, but now I submit my requests on line (how geeky).  They usually follow up with a nice little tract that has a wonderful message in it. 

My prayer requests do seem to be answered, usually not in the time frame or the manner that I wish…  The best part is that after submitting the request, I always feel that my burden is lightened.  I feel as if I can go through the day with the confidence that good will happen.

Usually I don’t turn on my computer or check my email until after shower… walking the dogs… and breakfast.  This morning I turned the computer on early and saw your letter.  Hearing from you means a lot.  As I was showering I was thinking about grief and an image of a gong came to mind.  I’ll now share the thoughts that popped up.

Grief is expression of loss… loss of a part of one’s own self. We tend to forget that who we are does not stop at the outer edges of our body, no more than a car is just an engine.  We are made up of friends and family… of experiences and rituals and daily habits… of the music we listen to of what we choose to watch… and most importantly of those we love and who love us. We are even made up of the dreams that we hold deep in our hearts.  Loss of any part can bring on grief.  It can be brief and fleeting or deep, profound and with us for the rest of our lives.

Grief is like the sound of a gong.  It shatters the peacefulness. It vibrates long and loud.  Its vibration can set in to motion a similar vibration in that which is near.  Our grief reverberates and brings forth the feeling of grief in others.  The sound of joy is the sound of bells; grief is truly the sound of a gong.

I would encourage that in each church, temple or synagogue, wherever there is a room set aside for prayer and contemplation, that either the same room or another contains a gong.  Let those who are grieving go there and strike the gong as hard and as long as they need to express the depth and strength of their grief.  They should return daily or weekly to again strike the gong.  Those who hear the gong can either console or offer prayers for the loss.

Those who hear the gong’s mournful ringing can truly sense the intensity of the grief… but only the person striking the gong knows the intensity of the pain behind the grief.

Grief truly needs to be expressed… grief is real.  Just as there is light and darkness, light melodies, and dark mournful blues, there is grief as well as joy.

Just as we can carry physical scars for life, so we may carry grief for life.  Just as physical scars indicate a healing (as opposed an open wound), so does grief leave emotional scars.

Know that as we grieve there are angels grieving as well.  One might think that because of their wisdom and understanding that angels would grieve less.  It is because of their wisdom and understanding that they grieve more.  There are angels grieving over the battlegrounds of war, over genocide, over leadership that is driven by power and greed, rather than society’s benefit.  They grieve over each life cut short and the anguish that fills the air.

From a friend who lost one who was so close to her.  I think she said in one sentence what it took me two pages to say J :

·         Death leaves a heartache that no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal... missing my grandmother.....